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I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of a hatchet-faced woman with big knockers

Jamie Lee Curtis

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Daniel was a prophet, he wouldn’t obey the king,
The king said to him, “This is a naughty thing.”
Put him in the lion’s den with lions down beneath,
But Daniel was an artist and he drew the lion’s teeth.

Darkie's Sunday School

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Champagne and Benzedrine! Never again. 

Ian Fleming, Moonraker

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He felt rather like someone lying in a bath after all the water has run out, witless, almost dead

Malcolm Lowry, Under The Volcano

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Don't be mysterious; there isn't the time.

E M Forster, Where Angels Fear to Tread

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I just stick my tongue out because I hate smiling in pictures. It's so awkward. It looks so cheesy.

Miley Cyrus

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The lyf so short, the craft so longe to lerne.

Geoffrey Chaucer, Parlement of Foules

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Met a guy this morning with a glass eye; he didn’t tell me – it just came out in the conversation.

Jerry Dennis

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There is no better way to know us
Than as two wolves, come separately to a wood

Ted Hughes

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He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports of his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of the old-fashioned word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.
Except for the war till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn’t a scab or odd in his views,
For his union reports that he paid his dues,
(Our report of his union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day,
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And his Health-card shows that he was once in hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High–Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Installment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A gramophone, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for the time of the year;
When there was peace he was for peace; when there was war he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation,
And our teachers report he never interfered with their education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard

W H Auden, The Unknown Citizen